Father, help me to see myself today as I truly am...

Reflection of the day:  I think the next step for me is to realize again, and mourn, my own sin and brokenness.   And I have no idea where to start with that, but I think that's the next step.  In the midst of anger and bitterness and work-faith-life-work that has been too closely intertwined, I think I've lost a sense of my own need for God.

... My own ingratitude, in the midst of pointing out others'.
... My own sense of entitlement, in the midst of bemoaning that of my peers.
... My own arrogance and sense of unholy pride.
... My own unholy anger.
... My own running away.
... My own culpability in this season of dryness: the ways that I have rejected water, and rejected Jesus and run away from what feels hard or difficult, rather than ask for His help.

Don't know where to start with that, but my hunch is that it starts with asking God to help me to see.

So, knowing fully that this is a dangerous prayer, my prayer for today is:

"Father, help me to see myself today as I truly am."

Without a lens of self-accusation or shame or self-loathing or even just a desire to feel guilt or something, but also without self-excusing, without arrogance, without blinders, and without blame shifting.  Truly loved, truly known, truly delighted in, but also truly in need of you.  Truly received by you.

Amen.