9 Things About Me [aka writers' block/getting to know you...]

A few days ago, a friend posted this "Things About Me" get-to-know-you, and, as it was one of the more fun ones of these that I've seen and I too am suffering from temporary writers block and/or just general busyness, I thought I'd snag it and give it a go!  Thank you, Krystal for the inspiration/freebie!

1. Is this how you imagined your life would be? Good question.  I actually have no idea how to answer this one.  Yes?  No?  For some seasons in my life, I didn't dare to dream about what it could be, I just assumed it would suck.  For other seasons, I laid meticulous plans.  And then in recent seasons, the last ten years, I dreamed a little bit, as hope began to take root in my heart.  I would say it looks nothing like the meticulous plans - so much better than the sucky absence of dreams - and similar to the dreams that began with hope.  In my meticulous plans, I would be working in science policy, in a highly visible, highly paid, high power position, either abroad or in DC - and putting off marriage and babies until I was well-settled in my career.  And that is far far from the life that I now live.  In seasons of hope, I wanted to be a mom, even though it took me years to admit.  I wanted to marry someone who was kind and adventurous and would love me and our family well. And I wanted to be proud of what I did, and enjoy the work and life that I was living. And I wanted to be someone who was strong, content, adventurous, and who hadn't given up on her dreams, or lost herself in the midst of that family or that marriage.  And I think that's fairly accurate.

2. Name one good deed you did that went unseen.  Today?  I cleaned cheerios up off the floor.  But on second thought, pretty sure that was seen by my hungry hungry hippo of a child who is no longer able to eat them now. And, while many of the good deeds that I do as a mom go unseen - unless they involve removing something that my child wants but shouldn't have like three-day-old floor-dwelling, dirt-coated cheerios, in which case they are definitely seen and squawked about - I feel like that's just part of being a mom.

3. What’s your drink of choice when out with girlfriends?  Beer, whiskey, or coffee, depending on the day and the time of day.   Sometimes a red wine - although really, I'm so sold on Trader Joe's two buck chuck, that I rarely get wine when I'm out.  I've tried to find a good cocktail that I love, but the reality is, I like things simple and strong.

4. How did your blog come about? It was originally a space for me to personally process leaving ministry and mini-faith crisis #2.  I'm an external processor (ENTP, thanks) - but often times for me, it's easier to do that by writing than talking.  So I made the blog, invite a few friends to read it, as accountability and as feedback - and started writing.  It has evolved since then, as I've grown and changed and become mama,  and invited more people to read along, but the heart and soul of it - learning to live more fully into my identity as a daughter who is called beloved - still remains the same.

5. Name something you’ve learned about yourself that has surprised you.  That most days, I'm okay with some level of unknown and taking things one day at a time, without knowing everything.  I don't need a five year plan.  For a former control freak, this is completely unexpected, but very freeing.  It's a metric of health for me now - when I'm in a good place, a healthy serving of chaos doesn't freak me out; when I'm not so healthy, I start to become grabby for control again.

6. What hobbies do you have that you don’t mention on your blog? I love to make things and create things from scratch - whether that's brewing our own beer, or trying to make our own cheese, or constantly trying new recipes or cross-stitching, crocheting, and piecing together fabric scraps - there's something about the creative process which I LOVE!

7. What do you love about yourself? I love that I listen well, most of the time.  That I'm not afraid to say "I'm sorry" or to admit when I've been wrong.  And I love that I press into conflict, even when it's painful or hard, for the sake of reconciliation.  Also, I really like my creative brain - whether it comes out in words (here) or in creation of beauty.

8. If money were no question, I’d purchase…  a big huge house in the city, with a big front porch and rocking chairs under a tin roof so I could sit outside and listen to the rain.   She would have welcome written on her door, and lived out under her roof.  She would have lots of rooms so that we could have lots of children, and lots of guests - and could more fully live into our love of hospitality and welcome.  And people could feel at home, with space to breathe, and relax, and rest.  And eat.  And breathe.  Also, a small backyard, with a small garden, so we could have dirt between our fingers, space to grow real food and pretty things, and green space for the kiddo(s, eventually) to play.  And it would be in the city, where the people are, because that's where my heart comes to life.

9. What’s your biggest struggle in life?  As if there is just one...  puullllleeeease.  Who here is that whole and struggles that little?  Let me tell you about today alone.  But seriously, it's probably believing that I'm enjoyed - that I'm delightful - not just tolerable - and that I'm enough, as I am, without trying to be more.

So there ya go - 9 things about me.  Feel free to do your own version of this - if you do, link up in the comments so I can learn more about you as well!