Over the last year, though, it has expanded in audience, and content. And right, wrong or otherwise, I enjoy that. I love comments, I love feedback, and I love "likes" - one of my love languages is words of affirmation, and so I thrive when that feedback is positive. It also can be a dangerous place for me, because it can make it difficult at times to share parts of my process, vulnerably - which may or may not get likes and comments - even though that was the original intention of the blog. I know, intrinsically, the type of post that gets likes. And the kind that doesn't. And it's very tempting to write either one or the other - but not really both.
Somewhere in the middle is where I hope to land - writing in light of the audience at hand, but also staying true to the intention of this space, regardless of the feedback or lack therein that I may get. All that to say, I'm still figuring out how to do that. And I'm trying to intentionally wrestle through my own need for affirmation - and the unhealthy parts of that as well as the healthy. As well as consider how having an external audience may also - healthily - require me to share about the happy, light, moments as well as the heavy, processing, heady, realization ones. Which, even though it might not be my standard modus operandi to share out loud, is actually really healthy and good for me.
All that to say, I'm still figuring it out. But, in the spirit of vulnerability, being real in the blogosphere, and comfort in who I am, I thought I'd share that out loud, rather than just keeping it to myself. Here's the goal:
- I'm going to write some posts that have no point - that are funny, that are random, that are life - and I'm going to write some that are serious, pondering, and deep. Because both of those are part of who I am.
- I'm also going to write some that many people will love, because they resonate on a broader spectrum.
- And I will also write some that no one will like, but that are important for me to write to get it out of my head and into a place where I can process it out and be reminded of truth in the midst of chaos. And that's a good thing too.
- And, easy or hard, with wisdom recognizing that this is the freakin' internet, I will continue to write posts that are vulnerable. Even when it feels hard.
And I have to be okay with not fitting neatly into one category of blogger - the sweet, inspirational, or the mommy-blogger, or the ridiculously funny, or the beautifully parsed, or the "gets a hundred likes even when she writes about fill-in-the-blank." (I have some ridiculously talented friends who write blogs). And at the same time, I have to be okay with sometimes getting pigeon-holed as a mommy blogger - hey I am one - or a heady-realization-rich blogger - because I have those and I like that about myself - or one who is expected to have beautiful words always - because I do sometimes. And with that, it's okay to enjoy getting lots of positive feedback, comments and likes - but those cannot define the way that I write, process, or imagine and dream. Therein, the journey is stunted, and I, not you, confine myself to a far smaller space than I long for. That's my #beingreal moment for the day.
It's a terrible branding strategy - but hey, I'm not selling myself, for likes, comments, or money. Because after all,
"I am called beloved. And in that, is a freedom to process and be transparent with everything else above. Because in the security of knowing that I am called Beloved, I also hear the truth that the chaos, the mess, the awkwardness, is not who I am. It does not define me."And that is my only brand. So... stay tuned. :) The journey continues.
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