on healthcare, love your sick friend

Y'all.

It's been a long three weeks of sickness in our house.  We've had the mother of all colds, fevers, double ear infections, croup, suspected pneumonia (it wasn't), eye infections, 5ths disease, and topped  it all off with a cough that clears the room.  We've thought we were heading towards healthy, only to regress or get something new while traveling far away from home.  All five of us have had something, and the little 3/5ths of the family have had more than one something.  This is out of the ordinary for us - we are typically pretty healthy, and rarely head to the doctors outside of regular check-ups.   My kid who had perfect attendance before this, missed 3 days of school in a row.  In the midst of that, there have been countless calls/trips to the doctors office, more sleepless nights than I can count, and more prescriptions than our annual average.

We are tired.  Very very tired.  And still trying to get the littlest ones healthy again.

In the midst of all that, as a parent, there are numerous moments of decision - with croup, while staying in our friends house out of state, what do we do?  With this cough, do we go in or do we wait it out?  With this fever, do I medicate, or do I let the fever burn out the disease?  What is actually hurting my child who can't articulate his/her pain?  What information do I need to tell the doctor this time?  [Oh my God, will I ever sleep again?]

The one decision that I'm glad we never had to make is - can we afford to take them to the doctors office if they need it?  We are thankful to have good jobs, and good insurance, and great doctors. [As an aside, if you are soon-to-be a parent, the BEST thing you can do is find a pediatrician that has a helpful 24-7 nurses line, and weekend hours.  Trust me.]  While copays and deductibles are not fun, they are infinitely cheaper than full-pay, and the decision to take them in or not has (thankfully) not been "can we afford it."

Today, I am exceedingly sorry to anyone [all of our family] and everyone [half the state of Virginia] whom we might have infected with our diseases.  And I am exceedingly thankful for health insurance, enabling me to provide good care for my children in some stressful weeks.

I grew up without health insurance - in part because my parents were self-employed.  In part because one of my parents has a pre-existing condition which caused them to be dropped from or ineligible for most, if not all, pre-ACA health insurance policies.

I am, and have been, by-in-large, very healthy.  I do not feel like my lack of health insurance growing up (largely) negatively impacted me.  I went to the doctors rarely, but really didn't suffer from that.  I learned to ask questions about what care was actually needed, versus suggested.  I have no issues with resistance to antibiotics because I've used them so infrequently.  I have a healthy respect for the body's ability to heal a lot of things, by itself.  And I have a better understanding of the generous rate cuts of (some) physicians for cash pay patients.  For these things, I am very grateful.

However,  I also know that -

- The stress of finances often influenced healthcare decisions for my parents.
- My parents always did what was needed to get us healthy - but that was costly to them.
- I grew up scared of serious illness because instead of consulting with a medical professional, we googled symptoms and illnesses.  And I grew up thinking of medical care as a luxury rather than as a readily affordable option.  Even for the most serious of issues, you needed to know what you had, and know that it was serious, before you went in.
- When I had my first serious injury in college, requiring stitches, the first question I asked was "how much will this cost?" rather than "can you stop the bleeding?" The nurses thought I was having an anxiety attack because of my duress in considering what they considered basic care. In the end, I opted out of stitches, because of the cost.
- My parents still don't have healthcare, because despite ACA's intended benefit to them, the premiums are still too high, and they see themselves as healthy and not needing it, after 30+ years without it.

Where am I going with this?

Access to quality healthcare is a good thing.  It's not the end-all-be-all - and life can go on for many without it - I am a testimony to that.  But it is tremendously beneficial when you do have it and need it.  And we haves, we often are blissfully unaware of what life looks like for the have-nots.

Healthcare is also a complicated thing.  I don't have a strong sense of what the wisest system of healthcare is - single payer, multi-payer, group funded, government, private, etc.  I don't fully understand all the issues contained within it.  I know that there are ways that medical treatment is overused and abused and that can lead to complications that I don't know how to address.   I did a math project in college on the spread of nosocomial infections, and drug resistant diseases, and I could barely spell it, let alone solve it.  I know that there are vast portions of the populations that lack basic healthcare and that is costly to them and society as a whole in many ways - even while providing coverage through a centralized plan is also vastly expensive.  I also know that there are many non-medicinal treatments, holistic medicine etc., that should be considered somehow (but how?) in the grand scheme of things.

I have much to learn and much more to understand, on both sides.

What I do know is this:

Quality health(care) is often *often* influenced by finances. When you do have good insurance, or financial means, it is far easier to pursue good health(care) and maintain good health.  Even if that just means that you regularly maintain routine healthcare, early screenings, specialized diet, etc., eliminating some of the needs for urgent care later down the road.  This is not a luck thing or a hard work thing.  This is a privilege thing.  Yes, you might work hard for that money/job/coverage - but there are millions of other people who work equally hard for minimum wage and aren't afforded the same healthcare options.  And yes, you might be healthy now, and make healthy lifestyle choices, but disease strikes without warning - sometimes when a diseased family like mine has to fly back to their hometown on your Jetblue flight [sorry again], or sometimes more seriously when despite all your good life choices, your test results come back positive for cancer.  If and when that happens, your finances (followed by support network) are more likely than anything else to influence your care.

Pre-existing conditions are a real B.  And conditionalizing coverage based on them shows a priority for financial gain rather than human decency.  It is all well and good when those are numbers.  But when those are people with names and faces - me, my parent, my friend - it lacks human compassion and decency.  Insurance is not required to be moral, but healthcare is supposed to be based on a system of protecting life and preventing harm - and our current insurance "business" model is antithetical to that.

As a parent, who deeply loves her kids, the thought that the health of my children (or any child) might not be *affordable* - might be a luxury only afforded to those with means - that is unfathomable.  I understand the consumeristic desire to only pay for what *we* use - I am one of the cheapest humans known to mankind and I hate paying extra for things that I don't personally use.  But at the same time, come on people.  We have got to be more human than that. Whether you think that's the role of the government or the church or "someone else" - we've got to figure out a way to "care for the sick" and not prioritize healthcare for those who "have" over those who don't.  If we want to be "pro-life" - let's be fully pro-life and let's figure out a way to make basic healthcare more easily accessible to all.

Politics aside [because does either side fully know how to solve it?], healthcare matters.  Good health can be an idol, it can be an obsession, but when it is gone, we all grieve the loss of it.  Today, in the midst of all our diseases, I do not take for granted our health or our healthcare.  But in light of that, I long for the day when the healthcare that I enjoy will be accessible for all - however that might come to pass.

Call me a liberal, tar me and feather me, but I hold these things to be self-evident - that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are unalienable rights for all humankind.  And that good care of health falls within those.

If you need me, I'll be over here, spooning my Kleenex box.