Fails: always more to the story

So, continuing with the real talk, let's talk about image...

I've been thinking this morning about the story that my facebook feed tells... lots of pictures, lots of kiddo stories and posts, awkward moments (because who doesn't love those) and quite a few mommy commentaries or descriptions of what I'm doing in the moment.  Right now, I've given myself two challenges for the month of October - blogging at least once a week, and taking pictures of each dinner that we have for a month.  So, this month, my newsfeed is also covered in blog posts and dinner pictures that, at least this week, look pretty tasty.  Which, if you'd like to join me in either challenge, please do!  I'd love to link up!  Either way, lots of positive things, cute pictures, and "wins" are making their appearances on my wall.

Which are real life - and I'm proud of that!  The food picture challenge comes out of a desire to be creative and grateful with and for what we have and get to eat daily.  Honestly speaking, our food budget is very tight right now, and so I have to be creative - and to build my gratitude, and to require me to be a bit more creative, I'm trying to do so intentionally.  And I'm proud of myself for that!

This morning, I posted a picture of myself and kiddos following a two and a half mile run, with double jogging stroller - I'm also proud of that!  Running with a toddler in tow adds a whole new level of interactivity and conversation needed mid-run.   Try carrying on an animated conversation about the orange tree leaves when you're out of breath from pushing 50 extra pounds. Also, for the record, we pointed out every single puppy and squirrel possible, as well as said hello (*gasped hi*) to everything that looked even remotely human.  And let me tell you, that requires some effort!

All that to say, I'm not apologetic for those posts.  Nor all the cute pictures of my kiddos.  Those are part of my life these days and it's good.  Very good.

But for each mommy win, or each Kristen achievement, there are also mommy fails and pictures that I don't post.  There are also days that don't make me look good, and days where my kids are more covered in temper tantrums than cute adorable grins.  So, in the spirit of being real, let's talk about some of those, shall we?

... Let's talk about the fact that I have considered apple pie, brownies and ice cream my "first lunch" of the day every day this week.  And don't think that was as a replacement for lunch.  No no.  That was simply the first course.  Just finished it a few minutes ago.  Will be getting "main lunch" shortly.

... Can we talk about the fact that on Monday, I had to call my husband crying because the baby was so colicky and so screamy at the breast that I couldn't convince him to eat and it had been all.day. and I was exhausted from fighting to get my over-hungry, over-tired baby to eat, and we both were crying, and I needed someone else to be the grown-up for a little bit.  

... Can we please please talk about postpartum hair loss and how it's getting a little ridiculous.  Like, by the handful. After handful.  After handful.  I had forgotten about this element of having a baby, but it's not pretty.

... How about the fact that there's a mom at the playground whom I have never talked to, because I was too shy and/or was too overwhelmed by my babies to take the initiative at first (she never started conversation either), and now she's convinced that I hate her and loudly tells her friends that every time we're both at the playground.  And rather than be a grown-up and either say hi or just not let it bother me, I avoid the times that I know she'll probably be there.  This from someone who prides herself on handling conflict well.

... Or the fact that my toddler is not really allowed to watch TV or play on the computer or phones, but I am fairly constantly glued to mine?  (Even after I talk about the value of being unplugged).

What's my point?

It's not that I suck.  Nor is it to tout some idea that we should stop posting "wins" on our facebook feed - those are good and to be celebrated.  And honestly, I really don't want it to be a "we're all human and messy too!" type of post, even though that's true too, and it's kind of turning into that.  I think what I'm going for, and what I mean is this:

There's so much more to the story than just what shows up on our newsfeed.  For most highs, there are lows too.  For everything we want you to know about us, there're equally more that we're hoping you won't guess or don't know.  We should celebrate the highs, absolutely - and within an appropriate context, we should share the lows and fails too.  (The internet might not be that, just sayin.)

But for everyone, as we read through people's feeds, we should do so with eyes that recognize that there's always more to the story.  Which most certainly means more compassion and grace for the other person.  But it also means more compassion and grace for ourselves.  We are the only ones who get to know our whole story, good bad and ugly and really ugly - we are the only ones who know just how not together we are.  For anyone elses' story - both the seemingly beautiful and the seemingly ugly - there is always something that we don't know, or might not guess.  We're all in this mess together.  Yup, totally turned into that.

May we have grace for others, grace for ourselves, renewed words of encouragement and camaraderie, and an increased ability to laugh at ourselves and with others.